1.Talk about the harm
It is important for us to talk about the harm caused to kids and adults alike by the use of religion-based bigotry toward LGBT people.
Most people associate bigotry with something to be shunned and don’t want to be a bigot. Our biggest opportunity is to get that person to realize what they are doing, and as a result, they can be moved. We can’t force people to change their minds, but we can try to enlighten them and let them come to their own conclusions.
Being bigoted or prejudiced conflicts with a person of faith’s core principles of love, compassion and respect. So making them aware that they are causing harm to others increases the chances that they will stop using religion-based bigotry.
In 2008, Faith in America printed and self-published the book, “CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay in America,” edited by FIA Founder and President Mitchell Gold. Traveling the country promoting CRISIS has allowed us to see first-hand the transformative power of telling stories of our youth. People don’t want to hurt children.
Dr. David Gushee, a Christian ethicist, author and Southern Baptist minister wrote about CRISIS in the June 2009 issue of Christian Century. He said “as an evangelical Christian whose career has been spent in the South, I must say I find it scandalous that the most physically and psychologically dangerous place to be (or even appear to be) gay or lesbian in America is in the most religiously conservative families, congregations and regions of this country. Many of the most disturbing stories in this volume come from the Bible Belt. This marks an appalling Christian moral failure.” Our job is not to tell people they are wrong and we are right, but rather, to discuss the harm. For example: “Reverend, do you understand the harm that is caused to a 14-year old when he/she hears you say that he/she is immoral or sinful?”
Telling stories of the harm caused by religion-based bigotry is an important way for people to learn and to rethink some of their beliefs.
These are meant to be guides … you must tailor them according to the conversation. Avoid saying ”it is okay for you to have your religious beliefs and values”when the person is using religious belief to justify discrimination. This reinforces that it is acceptable to use religious belief and values to justify bigotry, prejudice and discrimination. We have found that most people are not offended when you challenge a specific aspect of what they have been taught by the church.
2. Make it clear that being gay is not a choice.
Same-sex orientation is not a promiscuous choice to go against God’s will. Sexual orientation is a natural part of a human’s being whether heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. It is a normal, natural and healthy expression of human sexuality that is innate for some people.
Unfortunately, the religious teachings our adversaries follow suggest that homosexuality is a choice. They believe:
a) Heterosexuality is for all people. Homosexuality is a conscious choice to
deviate from this norm.
b) Gay people are committing a sin and are an abomination.
c) Gay people are making a conscious choice to go against God’s will or order.
d) Since it is a conscious choice, children who are exposed to gay teachers or gay
married couples might CHOOSE – to be gay.
These teachings are wrong. One does not choose to be gay any more than one chooses to be straight.
And when we convince people that being gay is not a choice, the vast majority of them are much more likely to be accepting of gay people and much more inclined to support equality for LGBT people.
3. It is wrong to use religion-based bigotry to justify discrimination.
History has shown that religion-based bigotry was used to justify discrimination against Native Americans, African Americans, minority religious groups, woman and interracial couples. And just as it was wrong to use it then, it’s wrong to use it now against LGBT people. The majority’s religious teachings cannot be used to deny minority groups their civil rights in a democracy.
Connecting the dots between historical bigotry and today’s attitudes toward homosexuality is one of the strongest, most moving ways to educate people about the denial of equal rights to the LGBT community.
Use the history of religion-based bigotry to point out social injustice now and in the past. By citing historical instances of religion-based bigotry and prejudice, you allow the person to be more comfortable with attitudinal change — they realize they are not stepping out alone against a commonly accepted viewpoint, but rather, following historical progress toward justice and equality. Our experience has demonstrated that citing the historical precedents of religion-based bigotry allows us to disarm the often-used defense of biblical verse recitation by religious-minded opponents or those who simply use it as safe haven when they are unable to articulate why they have/ hold prejudiced attitudes toward LGBT people. We discovered we could elevate our argument by reminding people that other religious texts have been interpreted in the past in ways that promoted social injustice. Instead of telling people that their interpretation is wrong, we remind them that certain interpretations of scripture have promoted or justified attitudes and laws that are recognized today as morally wrong and unjust.
Religion-based bigotry is the narrow-mindedness, intolerance and prejudice toward LGBT individuals that is created in part through religious teachings that say homosexuality is immoral or sinful. Such bigotry and prejudice creates and justifies the attitude that it is acceptable to discriminate against LGBT persons and to look upon them with condemnation and contempt. Most importantly, some people of faith experiences inner conflict when they consider the role church teachings play in fostering attitudes of prejudice, intolerance and non-acceptance.
4. Tell Your Story
Your story is critical to ending religion-based bigotry in your community and around the country. Time and time again, we have seen LGBT church members share how bigotry has emotionally affected them and their family to successfully change the hearts and minds of their faith community to create a supportive and welcoming environment. Your story is a powerful message.